1. |
andy
04:02
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currently, andy's leaving for another six weeks and i
sure as hell don't feel like much of a savior, more like something along the lines of an enabler
with hopes next to none you start from square one and pour the burning liquid, down your throat
watch wide eyed as your world begins to spin and glow
i know one day i'll see you grow into
someone with will and agency rooting them
and one day you'll leave and set out to redefine
this very world you were born into
your circadian spiral
into the soft earth
all those inner quarrels
i've known you better than you may know and you'll get better, than we expect
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2. |
walks you along
02:03
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when you had braces on your teeth & knees
you learned how to be a rough individualistic man
don't take no for an answer and push those thoughts
in the back of your head now you've got ulcers ;))
hope things make sense
and keep yourself steady
as your life
walks you along
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3. |
glowing white room
04:05
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one day ill be in a glowing white room and see all my deceased ancestors who, will meet me and see every little fragment from, my past life and one day you're gonna get your shit together, saves some lives and hold everyone in your hooping arms
come fall i'll be up north guiltily living life
so boldly, this liminality
juxtaposed, with the patience, with the gracefulness
you've always knew
one day, all of the friends you had, will come together and remember little things, like the way you subconsciously smiled into the car mirror and the grace of all your calculated movements
come fall i'll be up north guiltily living life
so boldly, this liminality
juxtaposed, with the patience, with the gracefulness
you've always knew
it's not fair, for you and me
life's not fair, for you and me
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4. |
dog days
04:19
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the dog days, seem a little bit longer as each night falls
leave no trace, they always say cover up the tracks of your footsteps in the woods
existence, one day they'll all listen to you intently
but it will be just a sort lived pipe dream, and one day they'll forget about you
so please train me, to be the machine that works with maximum efficiency
so i can slide by and say my goodbyes and make my exit gracefully
grit your teeth place one the god damn steering wheel
grit your teeth watch your friends have the fun you used to know
can't muster, up the will to take that flashlight and point it in towards yourself
i guess you'll never subdue that constant tightness in your chest
first the job goes, i die look down, watch my green lawn get overgrown
they saw me slide by, never said my goodbyes, but wasn't hard to leave gracefully
grit your teeth place one the god damn steering wheel
grit your teeth watch your friends have the fun you used to know
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5. |
dorrine was 49
04:29
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(for dorrine)
sometimes i think about
da dirt we stand on
and what iz made of
its made of me:00
sometimes i think about
that women i saw yesterday
and what she does in her life to keep her from
she was nineteen
she was expanding now
lulled into this shallow sense of happiness
infatuated with the buzz from the people she fit with
but could never keep them close enough to her heart
they'll and shell continue down the unconscious path
(as a youth)
why do the cracks in the sidewalk
seem so damn big these days?
and its a fat chance the cracks in the sidewalk
will swallow me up whole one day ://
(old mfer now)
she's now decrepit like the bridges and trains
of a city doomed to crumble under its own weight
but the concrete city will be remember
but not ol' dorrine always asking me
why do the cracks in the sidewalk
seem so damn big these days?
and its a fat chance the cracks in the sidewalk
will swallow me up whole one day
sometimes i think about
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6. |
frosted sunflower moth
03:52
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coming home late these days when the lights are flashing
hold the wheel i've got a small smile on my face
your black-eyed-susan hat still sits quietly on the counter
pull over in the rain to buy the bunch of sunflowers
and you wait patiently, for something, good to come
young blonde girl with the curls watches her life get split in half
photos line the walls of a younger you in your fathers house
forget the nuclear structure that you had once loved
now afraid to spill your contents on the ones who will help
petrified crack your skull eat the cold ramen again afraid to loose the kid you put all your hope in
and you wait patiently, for something, good to come
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7. |
paint chips
04:11
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just eat your paint chips run away from
whats robbing you of whats steady, whats tangible
sit back watch it go
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8. |
13
02:16
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when we were thirteen we had those big dreams
and realized we had to make our little imprint
on the world before the icebergs
melt and gray sea swallows the shores
i do
and my friends
do too
we grow and get smacked in the face
with the cold reality of
a structure a system bent, on pain and sufferin
and the most we can do is try
i do
and my friends
do too
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9. |
pool
06:11
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walking home from the pool still got that memory stuck in my head from when i was
young i turned my head to the side and squint my eyes, and watch the light fracture
spin and bounce from side to side as i trail eight feet behind my dad i know one day
ill die and watch all i know and smile looking at the ceiling bleary eyed
watch them look me in my eyes, as they float away on, a black converter belt
amidst the red sharp things that bring them to their ultimate end
i never faced that wall again
now that im a big kid, i gotta try to do big things
no that im a big, i gotta learn to bite the bullet
everyday
nothings really quite okay these days
you told me we wont let the kid die
my initials are still on those bleachers
lets hope we really meant our word
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